cigarette|smoke|and|coke

open.letter

I know I haven’t been the best kid in the block but I try hard to please you and almost everyone else coz you told me to. I try hard to change my clothes before going to bed. I’m still trying but you know, I’m usually tired and laundry costs a lot. I can save up on laundry and go buy food instead, right? Yeah? Okay. No. I also try extra hard to wake up early coz I know you ain’t there to bully me and pinch my nose ‘til I gasp for air and finally wake up. I do my best. Believe me. It is quite hard, especially if I’m not a kid anymore.

I’m starting to feel like I grew up so fast. I moved out too early to go to uni and sort of lived on my own far away from our quaint little hometown. It all happened so fast. It all seemed so easy. It was somehow like a roller coaster that felt scary at first then once I got the hang and thrill of it, I started to have fun. The faster and crazier the loops, the more exciting it got. I enjoyed it actually.

But I’ve had my fun. I may have had too much fun. I remember one of our conversations over the phone and I told you I was on my way to a party. It was funny ‘coz you told me not to take anything from strangers that would ‘compromise’ my sanity. Well, I’ve been doing so for quite some time before we had that conversation. I’m sorry. But now, I know better. I don’t regret anything ‘coz I definitely learned a lot more. There are far too many things I have to apologize for and be honest about, far too many stories to tell. But I guess you already understand. You were cool when I told you I smoked. You even asked if I smoked reds and took one puff! So, you certainly have an idea about the rest. Still, I’m sorry. You told me not to but I still did. I’m sorry I’ve been selfish. I’m sorry I’ve been somewhat neglect.

As I ‘grew up’, I’ve heard the good and the bad. I’ve been hurt, been put down. Damaged to the heart. I usually would not say a word. I would just keep it to myself and stayed calm. I was intact. But bullets can shred flesh once you get shot. They make you rattle with fear and run for cover even with just the sight of a gun. I kept stolid most of the time. One, coz I learned that from you. You were strong. You never lost ground even at the worst and you always kept pushing forward. Though you never taught or said anything, you just showed me how. And I may have learned from the best.

I still got a long way to go. I’m still a kid. Do know I’m trying my best. Doing my best. I’m still your kid and I gotta please you even if you don’t tell me to.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I love you!

‘joe

12 May 2012 / 4 notes / open letter jacob kho mom mothers day manila

summer

Summer escape 2012.

Went with friends from work for a day trip at the beach. We were looking for something affordable and decent since we all just wanted to relax and take a break from the city.

We arrived at Subic at around 5am and went around to find the perfect shore. I haven’t gone around Subic and as we drove around I realized what an awesome place it is! Trees everywhere and you have everything you need inside the Freeport! Plus the afams! hahhaha Beaches everywhere and lots of attractions to go to when you’re bored! It’s quite near to Manila, too! Definitely going back to go around the Freeport some more! :)

Anyway, as I said we were looking for a nice beach. We almost got lost going throuh narrow dirt roads like the ones in films where someone just jumps out of trees and tries to kill ya! But no creepy guy, only cute (and creepy) monkeys. One was staring at Vince as if his daddy left him. haha (Im joking Vince) LOL

So, yes, we almost lost hope and money from going around Subic as most resorts were packed (and expensive) so we headed out of the Freeport to look some more. We went to one resort that was cheap and had a hellabig compound but the beachfront did not have enough shore. FAIL. It’s beachfront had tents and videoke machines and it was cemented. Leap over the cement and you got some bit of sand then water. It was a shorelet. A little annoying shore. EPIC FAIL. Thus, we left.

After a few hours of resort-hopping, we finally found one. Entrance was cheap and we got to stay in a tent at the beachfront! And no it was not a shorelet! They had a long stretch of sand!!! And a mini-yacht to tour around islands and a banana boat!!!

Stayed under the sun the whole day for as long as I could.

I finally got some tan but I’m starting to peel already. :( It’s okay though, I’m not some pale loser anymore who didn’t get to go to the beach this summer!

Walang basagan ng trip! Kelangan may summer photo and I think this is it! LOL

Friends E.R and P.A.

and more vanity…. :))

And the jumpshot.

We stayed til night time to relax some more.

More photo ops too! hehe

Left for the Freeport at 9pm and had dinner at Wimpy’s (they have very yummy burgers at affordable prices)! Then had coffee at Xtremely Xpresso before heading back to Muhniluh. :D The coffee was supposed to keep us up through the whole trip back so E.R. would have someone to talk to while driving but the darkness of SCTEX was some scaryshit and the cool breeze from our open window was lovely, I just went to sleep. hahhahaha Did not even wake up when we stopped for 30 minutes along NLEX. LOL